Thought Avoidance

In case anyone doesn’t realize it, life coaches are not the people who have it all figured out. We go through the same brain drama as everyone else on the planet. The only difference is that life coaches are continually working on ways to move past the drama so we can create more satisfying lives. I coach women on self-worth and Imposter Syndrome because those are issues that I have been working on myself for years.

This week, I realized I’ve been pushing through some of my self-worth issues rather than confronting them, and I wanted to share this with you because it might remind you to check in with yourself from time to time.

There’s a thin line between realizing a thought is coming up because it’s a habit versus it being a problem that needs examination. If a thought keeps sneaking in, but it doesn’t threaten you in any way, you are certain it has no merit, then you can simply acknowledge it as a meaningless thought from your past and move on. But if it feels true and causes negative feelings to surface, you don’t need to push it away. You need to welcome it to the table for closer examination.

Thought examination can’t be done well in our heads; you have to get it out on paper. Research has shown that it works best when you write out your thoughts by hand. This manual handwriting allows our brains to clean it all out in a way we can’t do when we’re typing. Once it’s all out on paper, we can really look at our thoughts and create awareness of why we continue to have them.

Without going into all the details, I will tell you that when I journaled openly and freely about the story I have around my self-worth, I immediately started seeing the contradictions within it. I had gotten rid of some of the big stories around my self-worth, but this lingering baggage that I've been carrying around my entire life didn’t even make sense. I laughed with the relief of it all!

So I say all of this just to remind me--and you--that sometimes we want to rush through the "bad stuff". We want to acknowledge it briefly and then replace it with something that feels better. I made the decision to sit with this lingering story for a while and really get to know it; because it turns out the more I know about this part of my self-worth story, the more I see how false it is. It may still slide back in from time to time just out of habit, but when it does, I can truly say it's just old story that doesn’t threaten who I am, rather than an uncomfortable one that might have a tiny shred of truth it!

Make journaling a daily practice, friends! It is the key to self-development. Until next time, much love!