A client recently came to me who wanted to work on living a more intentional life. I asked her what that term meant to her, and she responded that it meant she would do more of the things she wanted to do and fewer things she didn't want to do. I love the concept of living an intentional life, but in our daily practice, living intentionally is more about the way we think about our lives than any of the things we do.
I don't do anything in my life that I don't want to do, and you shouldn't either! The key to this is in the way I think about it. When I clean my house, I am doing it because I feel better in a clean house. I don't focus on why no one else grabbed the vacuum or dusted the furniture because that doesn't serve me. Instead, that thought wastes a lot of the emotional energy I could put into creating something for my clients or my family or myself.
Our brains like narrative—they make sense of our experiences by putting everything into a story. The story most of my clients think they are living when they tell me they want to live a more intentional life is they have no control over their lives right now. They are working and doing All. The. Things. with their kids and trying to keep the house under control and bills paid and a partner happy and ….
That is an exhausting story. The story of “I have no control over my life” has a victim (the client) and a villain (some days it’s the job or boss, some days it’s the partner or family, some days it’s just life), and if we believe we are a victim to our lives, then we are never going to end our day feeling in control. We are never going to feel like we are living intentional lives because victims are stuck doing things they “have” to do for all of the villains around them.
Ladies, hear me now. The most empowering, intentional thing you can do for your life is to change your story from you as a victim to you as a HERO! The day you make yourself the hero of your story is the day your life changes in wonderful ways you can’t even imagine! Everything you do is firmly in your control. You complete the task at work that someone else was supposed to do because YOU get things done. You clean your house and pay your bills and take the kids to all of their games and practices because YOU are amazing! Everything you do, you do because you want to do it. Everything you do is for you because you live an intentional life.
The next time you are feeling overwhelmed by all of the things going on in your life, take a minute to reframe your story. Remember, the hero always gets to do whatever she wants. Decide what you want to do—and what you don’t—and honor those things. Go out and do those things like the hero you are!
If you would like to book a free session with me to learn more about how to make yourself the hero of your story, you can do that by going to sonyagreencoaching.com . Until then, much love!